BEFORE HE TWEETS
Parody of Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats"

PERFORMED BY STEVE GOODIE
Concept: M. Spaff Sumsion
Lyrics: M. Spaff Sumsion and Steve Goodie
Fiddle: Tim Lorsch
Vocals, guitars, bass, drums, piano, and production: Steve Goodie

  • Play/Download from the Funny Music Project beginning June 12th
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    Right now
    The congressman is sending out some pics to some chicks
    But there's collateral damage
    Right now
    Constituents are seeing all his sweet little tweets
    About his stimulus package
    Right now
    He's going deep on the issues with a fine citizen
    Who just happens to shoot porno
    Like we don't know

    But now it's looking like Weiner might get the shaft
    He's been taking it hard but the press just laughed
    Right-wingers, tea-baggers, and the liberal elites
    They say the beltway bugger got his ego stroked
    If you friend him on Facebook you might get poked
    Maybe next time he'll think before he tweets

    Right now
    The whole world is trick-or-tweeting screen grabs of some abs
    And a tumescent Weiner
    Right now
    He's probably texting that he wants to pat you down
    Like a TSA screener
    Right now
    He says he's never seen 'er, and there ain't no misdemeanor
    'Cause he didn't Charlie Sheen 'er
    But now he's gonna come cleaner

    'Cause he wants to hold your congressional seat
    He's the other white meat, the kind that can't be beat
    It's a 21st-Century Lewinsky legacy
    He keeps his budgetary tool there in his lap
    He's ready to bridge your partisan gap
    Maybe next time he'll think before he tweets

    Was she a campaign donor?
    A Seattle Washingtoner?
    Seems when he tried to phone 'er
    He said, Hi, this is John...Boehner

    He'd be a totally rock-solid New York mayor
    Reaching out to touch every taxpayer
    If he can keep it up between heartfelt apologies
    But 'til then he's just hoping they don't indict
    That'd suck! That'd blow! That'd totally bite!
    Oh, maybe next time he'll think and hit delete
    Yeah, maybe next time he'll think
    Before he tweets

    Blah blah blah blah
    OMG What an idiot.
    Blah blah blah blah
    I mean jeez.


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