Spaff.com "Where I'm Keeping You" Parody of Shania Twain's "Forever and for Always"

WHERE I'M KEEPING YOU
Parody of Shania Twain's "Forever and for Always"

PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND
M. Spaff Sumsion: Lyrics, wrangling.
Mercy Malick: Lead and backing vocals, vamping.
Bob Emmet: Steel guitar, recording, gerrymandering.
Robert Lund: All other instruments, backing vocals, mixing, massaging to a happy ending.

Get it on the CD Spaff.com Presents The Best of Robert Lund

Play/Download it from the Funny Music Project

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In your arms
There are bolts to the floor to ensure you'll never leave me
And a lock through your tongue so your words cannot deceive me
And it's wired to the electrodes
In your arms

And there ain't no way
I'm letting you go now
And there ain't no way
For you to get out
Never break those chains

'Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always
Underneath the trap door in the hallway
Gonna hose you off each morning in my crawl space
Always

In your heart
Was a dark little spot that forgot how much you love me
But thanks to my blade it's displayed on the wall above me
Now there's more room for devotion
In your heart

And there ain't no way
I'm letting you go now
And there ain't no way
'Cause your screaming calms me down
Keep it up all day

'Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always
Down inside my secret extra-small place
Where I know how good the spiders on the wall taste
Always

In your eyes
There is guilt that your weekly meals all go right through you
And a touch of regret that the rats all beat me to you
But it's mostly love and longing
In your eyes

And there ain't no way
I'm letting you go now
And there ain't no way
They'll ever track you down
Just enjoy your stay

'Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always
Underneath the floor boards in the hallway
Gonna make sure you stay faithful in my crawl space
I'm keeping you forever and for always