BOZEMAN, MONTANA (The Bad Mission Call Song)
Parody of Barry Manilow's "Copacabana" (Manilow/Sussman/Feldman)
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion (view with oh-so-helpful footnotes)

PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND
From the CD Workin' the Glory   BUY @ $10.99
Sample/Download from the Mad Music Archive

His name was Clay-uhn
He came from Lay-uhn
He was a 19-year-old guy
And a freshman at the Y
He and his sweetie
They lived in D.T.
He played some intramural ball
Waiting for his mission call
He said I'm so prepared
I've even buzzed my hair
I've been studying French and Persian
Call me anywhere

'Cept for Bozeman
Bozeman, Montana
It's worse than Batesville, Indiana
Please not Bozeman
Bozeman, Montana!
Prayin' and wishin' the call for my mission's
Not to Bozeman!

Please somewhere cool

Her name was Natalie
He loved her madaly
But she could not pass up a hoax
She punk'd Clay-uhn with her jokes
While he played baseball
She sent a fake call
She made it look about the same
Even forged the prophet's name
She laughed so hard she cried
And when that call arrived
Clay-uhn grabbed it with fingers shaking
And he looked inside

It said Bozeman
Bozeman, Montana
The hottest spot due-north of Magna
Yes it's Bozeman
Bozeman, Montana!
Here's our decision: Report for your mission
Up in Bozeman!

He lost his lunch

His name is Clay-uhn
He's suffocay-uhn
Who knew he'd take it quite so bad?
But Clay-uhn's quickly going mad
Tries calling G.A.'s
But they're in conference
He speeds to Salt Lake in a rage
Storms the Supernacle stage
You hear the choir yell
Boyd Packer kicks his tail
He's gone berserk and he's gone apostate
Now he's gone to jail

'Cause of Bozeman
Bozeman, Montana
He'll serve his two years in the slamma
'Cause of Bozeman
Bozeman, Montana!
Son of perdition! Guess what? There's no mission
Up in Bozeman!

Don't fall in love

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